Pandora's Planet

St. Mary’s Catholic School (1969) ~

Dottie Pender was just my eighth grade English teacher ….until~

Sister George saw me…my heart was beating so fast – I had seen that scowl on her face before…“Debra, what happened to your face?”  To me those words echoed loudly throughout the halls of the school.  Looking at my feet, I mumbled something about falling…being clumsy and stupid…in tears I ran to the bathroom to hide my humiliation and my fear.

Mrs. Pender followed me…I was so worried that they’d say I told…She sat down on the floor with me-shoulder to shoulder- and very simply whispered, “I’m here and if you need to talk it will be our secret…I promise.”

That summer she took me home with her for a two week vacation and as she often referred to herself - she became my BUM – my back up mom. She kept that secret and many more for the next 40 years as my mom.  She was always gracious to my real mom…but she continually created reasons and ways for me to go and stay with her and her family.

Before long…I had my own bedroom in her house…and I stayed there every other weekend and every holiday.  She opened my eyes and mind to unlimited possibilities of a new life.  She convinced me that I was a bright and beautiful young woman…and I seemed to require a great deal of reassurance back then.  But she stood by me…all through those years.  She taught me that I didn’t have to be a product of the family or the neighborhood that I came from.  She taught me about dignity and integrity and character ~ she taught me love.  She inspired me to recognize my passion and desire for writing.  She taught me to believe in myself. 

She showed me a whole new world…one that I could only see through her eyes…and one that I may have never experienced had she not so unselfishly opened her heart and her home to a lost 12 year old girl.  With her encouragement, I went on to be the first in my family to graduate from high school and then to graduate from college.  And when I married and had my first child and when I divorced…when I lost my own mother…she was there…in fact she was there for every event of my life for the next 40 years.  When I went home for vacations or holidays…I went to my home with her and I stayed in my room where I was safe and where I was loved.

I went home to her for the last time on April 9^th, 2009, because it was time to say goodbye to my Mom Pender…my mom, my best friend, my mentor.  And hello to my own personal Angel ~ because you see, she always was my Angel and I know she’ll be watching out for me.